


pas de deux

by hansoom



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-02-29 23:29:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18788461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hansoom/pseuds/hansoom
Summary: earlier that morning, seulgi had walked over to the foot of her bed and sat down, staring at her until she awoke. wendy doesn't know long she was there, only that her hair was sticking out in tufts, her makeup still undone. one of her slippers flew off her foot when she swung them while waiting, and she was too lazy to walk over to retrieve it. her smile was lop-sided and warm, as if she was waiting for wendy to say something.





	pas de deux

**Author's Note:**

> a coda of sorts to seulgi's birthday v-live.
> 
> (just archiving some old stuff)

in the time between turning the v-live feed off and their walk back to the car, wendy feels the sudden, overwhelming weight of wordless thoughts descend upon her like an anvil. there's only minutes left to the end of this day, one that has become important to her over the past few years, one she's held anxiously to her chest for an excuse to love more, to be more open, to say  _i love you_  instead of  _yah, kang seulgi_.  
  
seulgi is stealing glances at her from her left, their manager and stylist trailing behind them. it's not a comfortable distance. even if wendy whispered, it may leak, swept backwards by the breeze. her fingers twitch, peeking out from her coat. they've been caught in more compromising situations, but wendy doesn't want to create one now, even if seulgi has the quietest smile on her face. as if she's expecting something.  
  
 _i want to be less careful,_  wendy doesn't say. they're standing on the precipice of something overwhelming, something that feels like seulgi's fingers fumbling for hers in the cold. she pulls wendy closer. there is, always, the feeling that there are lines neither of them should cross.  
  
  
  
earlier that morning, seulgi had walked over to the foot of her bed and sat down, staring at her until she awoke. wendy doesn't know long she was there, only that her hair was sticking out in tufts, her makeup still undone. one of her slippers flew off her foot when she swung them while waiting, and she was too lazy to walk over to retrieve it. her smile was lop-sided and warm, as if she was waiting for wendy to say something.  
  
"happy birthday," wendy had mummured groggily, rubbing at her eyes. sometimes seulgi still felt like a fever dream.  
  
"thank you," seulgi had returned, scooting closer to her. she pressed a kiss to wendy's cheek, sending up a flare of heat that had wendy sputtering. and then softly, without warning: "i love you."  
  
wendy had blinked, staring back at seulgi. then seulgi turned, hopped off the bed, and flip-flopped her way to the bathroom, leaving wendy's heart wedged halfway in her throat.  
  
  
  
now, the wind whips up little flurries of seulgi's hair, and some of it catches wendy in the corner of her mouth. it only takes this for them to laugh, and seulgi's arm draws across her back, pulling her closer.  
  
seulgi is twenty-four now. she's loved before, as has wendy, but nothing has ever felt as solid as this, and:  
  
to be truthful with herself, it terrifies wendy. the way seulgi is looking at her, eyes quiet. the way she doesn't know what a future without seulgi looks like. the way it all blurs out, even as she plans months ahead. falls apart when she tries counting in years.  
  
seulgi slides the door open for her. holds out a hand. the staff pile in through the other side, and wendy takes in the snowflakes that gather like a crown around seulgi's head. it's unfair, wendy thinks. to be so beautiful. to come so near within her reach but be so far away. she says it before she registers it, and seulgi's eyes widen.  
  
"what do you mean?"  
  
"it's unfair," wendy says, again. the heat rushes to her cheeks.  
  
"what is?" seulgi's concerned. there's a voice inside wendy's head that's cautioning her against it, but seulgi's eyes are so bright, even more beautiful under the dim streetlights. anything, everything about wendy. everything that splits her open at night. seulgi has always wanted to know.  
  
"you," wendy tells her. it's a poor confession, if at all, but seulgi seems to register it. the corners of her lips curl up, slowly, gently, as she always is with wendy.  
  
"seungwan-ah," seulgi breathes, sliding the car door closed.  
  
wendy wraps her fingers around her coat collar and pulls her in.  
  
  
  
seulgi brought back a vinyl record from itaewon. she'd gotten back to the dorm just before the storm broke out. it was their fourth year together, pieced from awkward beginnings and the flurry of  _me too_ s following the revelation that they were the same age, and,  _oh, would you look at that, your birthdays are so close to each other_.  
  
seulgi was shaking off the rain that had seeped into her hair when wendy walked out into the living room. seulgi scrambled, futilely, to hide the bright blue paper bag behind her.  
  
"hi," seulgi had said. her smile was awkward, her elbow bent uncomfortably behind her back.  
  
some time between their first meeting and then, seulgi had tempered entirely the anxiety that being around people gave wendy. the polite thing to do would have been to ignore the bag and let seulgi slip quietly into their room, but wendy stepped closer to seulgi, seulgi who was flustered and bright-eyed, closer so that the bag was in plain sight and seulgi knew it.  
  
"is that for me?"  
  
"no," seulgi shot back immediately. her voice was a high squeak. she coloured. "maybe."  
  
"seulgi," wendy had breathed. her arms wound behind seulgi's neck. there was the faint smell of coffee buried in seulgi's coat, damp from the rain. seulgi was breathing gently, her chest rising and falling against wendy's. it was better that seulgi couldn't see her face, because, for whatever reason, wendy started to cry.  
  
"thank you," she'd muttered, slowly and surely, and seulgi's hands were warm, steady on her waist.  
  
  
  
the aftermath: seulgi's lipstick, smeared lightly on the edges of her lips. her cheeks flushed under the moonlight. her hands pressed against wendy's back, moving in little circles. when she opens her eyes, they're wet.  
  
wendy's watch beeps. 12 am.  
  
seulgi drops her head onto wendy's shoulder then, lets out something that sounds like a laugh. it's quiet and a little disbelieving.  
  
wendy twines their fingers together. "happy unbirthday," she teases. there's a silence that wendy leaves in the space between, even as the car door pulls open beside them. seulgi breaks it without lifting her head.  
  
"i love you," seulgi tells her. it's muffled, and most of the sound disappears into her shoulder.  
  
when she looks up, when she pulls wendy into the car, under the whir of the engine, she leans over in the dark and draws it again and again onto wendy's palm, against the confusion palpable between the members.  
  
 _i. love. you. son. seung. wan. thank. you. i. love. you._


End file.
